Inside-Out Living Changes Everything

Do You Live From the Outside In or the Inside Out?

I recently flew to Nashville to attend my first writer’s conference. The keynote speaker was Paul Young, author of The Shack, a book that has sold over 25 million copies. For context, the average book sells about 200 copies a year.
Paul’s story and delivery left a deep impression on me. He spoke with a fluidity and raw authenticity that moved the entire room. His humility and wisdom were undeniable, and his words resonated like poetry. By the end, every person in that room felt connected to his story—embracing both his flaws and triumphs. I couldn’t wait to meet him afterward and thank him personally.

Paul shared how The Shack was a culmination of 50 years of life experience. Remarkably, he never intended to be an author or achieve such success. But the book’s profound impact was rooted in his journey of transformation: shifting from living "outside in" to living "inside out."

What Does Living "Outside In" Mean?
Paul described his early life as one of hypervigilance, constantly performing for societal recognition and external validation. To protect his fragile inner world, he created a false self—a persona crafted to please others while hiding his insecurities. This led to a life of deception, addiction, and broken relationships.
He admitted to having a 4-month affair with his wife’s best friend, a betrayal that shattered his marriage. Hitting rock bottom, he contemplated suicide more than once. But in his darkest moments, he recognized a pivotal truth: he could no longer blame anyone else. Change had to start within.

The Journey Back
Paul’s journey toward living "inside out" began with brutal honesty. Over four days, he revealed every secret to his wife, laying a foundation free of lies and deception. It took 11 years of intense inner work to rebuild trust and rediscover himself.

Over time, Paul realized he no longer carried secrets. His relationships became grounded in raw honesty. He stopped seeking validation from external sources and found freedom in being his authentic self, regardless of circumstances. This profound shift transformed his identity and relationships—and, as he later realized, his health.

The 'Inside-Out' Life
Living from the inside out, Paul found an unshakable sense of self. Criticism of his book no longer affected him. The opinions of strangers couldn’t disrupt his peace because he no longer relied on external outcomes for his identity. Free from guilt, shame, and self-deception, he embraced life with clarity and purpose.

Paul’s journey inspired The Shack, which he originally wrote for his children. He wanted them to learn life’s "secret sauce" earlier than he did. The characters in the book reflect the essence of his relationships during those years of living inauthentically. He emphasized that authentic writing—and true living—requires knowing yourself and embracing vulnerability.

How This Relates to You
Paul’s story challenges us to examine our own lives. Are we living for external validation, or are we rooted in authenticity? His transformation didn’t just improve his relationships; it improved his health. When we live from the inside out, we align with our true selves, which can profoundly affect our well-being.

So, I’ll leave you with this question: Are you living from the 'outside-in' or the 'inside-out'? Take a moment to reflect. The answer might just be the first step toward your transformation. Respond to this post and share any thoughts you might have on this movie or idea. I will respond.